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Sex Positions & Techniques
Woman on top sex positions
If you're a man, you'll have spent a fair amount of time thinking about this! Ah yes - it's the stuff of fantasy! To have her on top, giving you pleasure, watching her body as she moves up and down your penis, slowly teasing you, watching you seductively as she moves, controlling her movements and savoring her power as she keeps you in the relentless grip of her vagina. Yes, it's a good sex position for fantasy, alright - but does it live up to its billing? Well, probably. As always, the best sex position for you and your partner is a matter of individual preference, but it's fair to say that making love with the woman on top is very popular with both men and women - and for some very good reasons. Men find it exciting because it's novel - certainly it's less commonly used by couples than the man on top position - and so it produces a different set of sensations as you make love; it's restful, so no matter how much you like thrusting, it gives you a more relaxing experience; it can be very thrilling to have a skilful partner ride you, as she can tease you and keep you on the edge of orgasm until the sexual tension seems almost unbearable; and you have the chance to see her breasts or buttocks, depending whether she is facing towards or away from you. And for a woman, the position has some great advantages: she can control the pace and rhythm of sex; she can get a sense of her sexual power; she can see the pleasure she gives her man; and she can take the dominant role during sex. You'll see a lot of material written about how this is the best position for a woman to reach orgasm during sex - but that's only true if her man doesn't suffer from premature ejaculation! If he does have some measure of self-control, then his partner can certainly ride him in the way that best stimulates her clitoris (and her G spot, if that's what floats her boat). Since woman on top allows you both to get away from the idea that sex is something in which a man has to be dominant, it can be good for the relationship, bringing a greater sense of equality and enabling men who are secure about their own masculinity to relax and stop feeling they have to be "in charge" during sex. Woman on top sex - how it works This isn't complicated! If you're a man lying on your back with an erection, and your female partner is straddling you, then the basic variation is whether she faces towards your face or your feet as she inserts your penis into her vagina. Many men find their penis is bent uncomfortably if their partner is facing towards their feet - in fact, it may not even be possible for you to insert your penis into her if it points straight up towards your chest when it's erect. But as always - think of the fun you can have trying out this sex position!As you can see in the pictures above (which, by the way, all expand if you click on them), a woman has plenty of opportunity to take a dominant role during woman on top sex. And since her body is not constrained by her partner's, as it may be during man on top sex, she has the freedom to move into the position that best suits her and gives her the greatest pleasure. Variations on the woman on top sex position The woman lies on top Woman on top sex can give you a whole variety of sensations, depending on the angle at which the woman lies on top of the man. What's best for you and your partner will be something you only discover when you try this position, since the angle and shape of each couple's vagina and penis are slightly different. But a good starting point is to have the female partner lie on top of the male partner with her chest close to his. The physical feelings here can be very strong. Their intensity will depend chiefly on how closely the woman keeps her legs together. If she lies with her legs inside the man's and keeps them very close together, his penis will be squeezed in a way that is hard to achieve in any other sexual position, and though he is likely to ejaculate quickly, the feelings will be stronger for the woman as well. For a woman who likes the sense of penetration and the feeling of her man's penis inside her, this is a powerful experience. It's exactly like this position, except that the man and the woman are the other way up.... Obviously sex will last longer if there is less pressure on the man's penis, as there will be when she keeps her legs further apart: Other variations on woman on top sex positions Variations on the woman on top positions are all about the angle of the penis in the vagina, and the fact that the woman gets different sensations when the man penetrates her from different angles. This can be exciting for the man as well, of course, because different positions stimulate different parts of his penis and also put different degrees of pressure on it. A couple can have a great deal of fun and be very playful in experimenting with these different sexual positions. The woman on top faces towards the man As you can see, in this position the woman has a great deal of flexibility in the angle at which she leans on her man. Each variation will provide deliciously different sensations for her vagina and his penis, and in some cases will also provide added pleasure for both partners when they can see his penis entering her, or see each other's buttocks, or her breasts. Another enjoyable thing about this position is that he or she can play with her clitoris (and his balls) to make this even more pleasurable. A lovers' tender embrace It's always possible to rest during your lovemaking, to talk, to look at each other, and to feel the sexual energy moving between you. One position where you can not only do all of this but also look deep into each other's eyes is the one shown below, which is a true lovers' embrace, a position in which you can discover exactly how your partner is feeling and see just what he or she would like next. Resting will allow your sexual energy to accumulate, so that when you do finally go for your orgasms, they may well be much more intense than they would otherwise be. You can also sit up unsupported if you put your arms around each other. While you do this, she can clench her vaginal muscles around his penis, and he can twitch his penis inside her to provide enough stimulation to keep his erection. The woman on top faces away from the man (aka "The Reverse Cowgirl") We've already mentioned that men may find this position uncomfortable, but if you can manage it, sex in this position can be a very different experience. It isn't a position that all men will appreciate, because it puts a lot of pressure on your penis when your partner sits on you facing away - and for men who have a small, hard erect penis that points upright when they are fully aroused, it may even be impossible to get into this position. It's worthwhile being careful when you try it, to ensure that you don't bend your penis too far forwards and cause yourself any discomfort. Other variations on woman on top sex There are plenty of other possible variations you can try, some of which are shown below. For a complete set of sex positions photos, we recommend you visit Great Sexual Techniques, where you can find much more explicit versions of all these images and photos of literally hundreds of sexual positions. A man talks about woman on top sex You've heard the old expression that women can just lie back and enjoy sex! Well, this is the time when men can lie back and enjoy it! The relaxing position, the lack of effort - you don't have to support yourself on your arms - the view of your partner's breasts as she rides you, and the sight of yourself penetrating her as you make love - all these things and more make this a wonderful position and one that both sexes can relish! More to the point, the woman has the chance to control how sex proceeds. She can control the pace, the rhythm and the depth of penetration, and if she's into getting off during intercourse then she might even be able to rub her clitoris along your body, making it more likely she can reach orgasm during sex. But the main thing, I think, is the chance of equality. So often we think of fucking as something a man "does to" a woman, and the female orgasm as something that a man "gives to" his partner. But neither of these things are true - women are (or should be) responsible for their own orgasms, and men are (or should be!) equal partners in sex with women. When your female partner's on top, she's running the show, she's the one who can thrust, she's the one who can control how quickly her man comes to orgasm, and she's the one who's more likely to be able to come during sex. The first time we tried it, I must admit it shocked me to find how much I resented having my partner fucking me! It took a while before I could let go of my preconceived ideas about male and female roles during sex, and relax while she put my erection inside her and used it to get off - I felt like a living dildo! The fact is, if you feel like this, then you simply must tell your partner, discuss it, talk it through, and sort out the way you both feel. I do still prefer man on top sex positions - but not by much! That's not because I feel insecure when she's on top - it's more about the fact that man on top sex feels better for me. But then again, if woman on top sex feels better for my partner, I guess it's only fair that we take it in turns!
Woman on top sex positions
Q & A from emails sent to us abut positions, pleasure and performance! Question: A young man emailed us to ask how you can get maximum pleasure from woman on top sex. Answer: There are some general rules during sex which help to make it much more pleasurable for you both - first is to consider what your partner needs and wants. That's' not to say you should put your partner before yourself, but certainly make sure you consider what they want. So, for example, if you're trying out woman on top sex, and you're the woman, don't just lunge up and down on his penis without checking with him if he'd prefer a slower, more gentle movement! The speed of sex is under your control, sure, and you can always move faster if you want to, since this might be what you need to get off, but only do that with his agreement. You know how it feels when a man pounds hard into you when he's on top - that can be exciting, sure, but only if you're in the mood for it - and it's right to extend the same consideration to your partner when the positions are reversed during sex. Then again, you might also want to consider how you move during sex. We all think of thrusting, with the man stroking his penis in and out of the vagina until one or both of you comes - but there's plenty of other ways you can move. For example, you can rotate your hips in a kind of circular motion while his penis is inside your vagina. This not only gives him a quite different set of sensations, it also stimulates more of your vagina. But find out what you both prefer - some couples like it more if they stick to the up and down movement! The man is pretty much in the position that his partner's in during man on top sex - that is, his movement's limited. But he can move more than you might think - for example, he can move you by placing his hands on your pelvis, on your hips, or around your waist. This isn't a case of him shifting you about - it's more about him gently encouraging you in which way to go and how to move. He can show you how to move in the ways that are best for him, and you can show him what's best for you. In short, this might be summed up as: do what feels good for you both! You certainly want to try having the woman on top leaning forwards or backwards at different angles to see how it feels for you both, and have her lean right back to check out where it feels best. If you have the man so he's semi-sitting up, semi-lying, with his back resting against something, then he can support his partner's weight as she leans forward onto him - this gives her more chance of pressing her clitoris on his body and perhaps reaching orgasm while making love. Variation, as with so much else, is important, and instead of just sticking to one movement, say riding up and down his shaft, try alternating this by moving your pelvis around in a circle. As you do this, have your man push up his pelvis and move his knees up so he can get deeper into you. Finally, the reverse cowgirl is always fun to try! You can see a picture of this higher up the page - it refers to when the woman is facing away from her man.
Anal Sex Positions
If you're interested in anal sex, you might like to see the whole anal sex photographic gallery, which is part of Adult Check, the world's largest collection of adult material. We've presented a few sample photographs here to illustrate the basic positions and show you the high quality of the photos. (click on them to enlarge the images.) There are over 300 hundred images in the complete collection of anal sex positions pictures.....plus millions of other images, covering all categories and tastes in adult material. We know it doesn't appeal to everyone, but anal sex can be fun and exciting. For those who are into it, the positions are not actually much different from normal sex positions. The simplest is to have the man on top with the woman's legs raised high so that her anus is exposed for penetration. It's also very easy to adapt the rear entry position for anal sex: you can adopt the same postures but orientate yourself to penetrate your partner's anus rather than her vagina. If you make sure that you are positioned so that the tip of your erect penis is level with her anus, then penetration - with plenty of lube and a condom - shouldn't be a problem. By adapting the rear entry position so that she's lying on her side, you can achieve a comfortable and relaxed style of rear entry sex. And another position you can use is simply to have the man lie on top of his partner as she lies on the bed with her legs wide apart. The key to good anal sex is using plenty of lube and being relaxed about it all. Certainly if one partner has reservations about it, anal sex is not likely to become a happy part of your regular sex life. Having said that, some women do really enjoy it, since the sense of naughtiness and trying something forbidden can be very arousing. In addition, the anus is an extremely erotically charged part of the body. Anal sex Anal sex isn't for everyone, but it can be interesting to try if you don't have many inhibitions and you're happy to experiment. We have hundreds of pictures which will show you how best to enjoy it and which anal sex positions to use (see the Adult Check sign-up form above to get access). Our models are all attractive men and women in real life relationships, showing anal sex at its best and most enjoyable. You might be wondering what the appeal is. Sometimes anal sex is attractive because it's forbidden or has an air of naughtiness - the anus is a taboo area for many of us! Other people think than anal sex is great because it offers tightness, a different set of sensations than vaginal sex, and the promise of highly enjoyable physical sensations. Women can enjoy being taken up the anus, though it's important that all experiments are consensual, that your partner agrees to whatever you want to do, and you're both happy to draw a boundary when things get to the point where you want to stop. Now, first of all, it's clearly not as easy to get your penis into the anus as it is to get it into the vagina, so we recommend that you consider buying some of the Liberator furniture shown in the advert below if you want to try it. After that commercial break, we'll go on to discuss other aspects of anal sex.....
Why anal sex, though? Without dodging the issue, there are as many reasons for trying anal sex as there are people trying it....but we can make some generalizations. Many women like a bit of anal stimulation during oral sex or masturbation. (And so do men, for that matter! You can see how it adds to sexual pleasure if you stimulate your own anus with a well-lubed finger when you masturbate.) As a man, try giving cunnilingus to a woman while you place a finger in her vagina and at the same time rub the tip of your little finger on her anus. If she likes this, she'll let you know by her cries of delight as she comes! Basically, the anus and the surrounding area have lots of nerves that link to the clitoris, pelvis and vulva, so the whole area is extremely sensitive to sexual stimulation. sexually responsive. And it can feel good if you're penetrated anally - for women, this is an extension of vaginal penetration; for men, there is the excitement that can be obtained when the prostate gland is stimulated through the wall of the rectum. For men who find that a tight fit produces greater pleasure during sex, the appeal of their partner's anus is obvious. In addition, there might be some reward in the sense of dominance over one's partner, the taboo aspects of anal sex, and the sheer raunchiness of it. But in short - if it excites you, try it out and see if you enjoy it! If you're worried about shit - and, yes, it can happen that the rectum beyond the anal canal may have some small residue of shit in there when you enter - then you can do something about it. First, use a good strong condom. That's pretty much essential anyway unless you absolutely know your partner has no diseases, and it's probably a good idea anyway to stop you getting a urinary tract infection (bacteria from shit don't mix well with your urethra and kidneys). Second, get your partner to douche before sex. Small douche bags are available from all online sex stores. Third, have a shower together before sex, and wash each other's anuses. That way you get an element of erotic play and relax a bit even before you start. OK! I'd like to try it...but how do you do it? What positions can we use for anal sex? The best positions are only adaptations of ordinary vaginal sex positions. You simply find one where the man can get easy access to his partner's anus. So - man on top with her legs back, woman on top, and from behind while lying side by side are all good, though obviously rear entry is best of all - at least, it's the easiest. It's also the most exciting for men, with the sight of her buttocks being a powerful sexual stimulus. This time, rear entry really does mean backdoor action! Use enough lube on her anus, the condom and your penis: this is absolutely essential. There's no natural lube there, unlike in your partner's aroused vagina, so you need plenty of slippery stuff to make penetration easy and pleasant for you both. Use Atroglide, Probe, KY liquid or some similar water based lube. You can't use enough, really, and if it dries out as you penetrate and thrust, just use some water to wet it again. Oils are a no-no if you're using a latex condom - but you've heard that a thousand times already, I'm sure. (They rot it - very quickly.) Start with a finger A nice way to start is to play with a fingertip on or around your partner's anus. You can rub gently, press into the rosebud opening, tickle gently with your fingertip, and with enough lube gently start the act of penetration to get her relaxed and opened up a bit. Such play is good for both sexes, so hopefully you'll let her do the same thing to you. This will increase her confidence and may make the whole thing more fun - it becomes a game of equality rather than something you're just doing to her. That knowledge may give her greater pleasure when you enter her with your penis. The other thing to bear in mind is that many people find some sexual acts acceptable only when they're highly aroused, so if you both get turned on and start getting carried away with the idea of anal sex, don't forget all the rules about safe sex and using a condom! To sum up: start the act of anal play with a gentle fingertip, tickling and pressing until your partner begins to open up a little. You might even consider using your tongue on her anus, though this is definitely something that either appeals or doesn't. Provided you're both well and healthy, it should be ok health wise, but there may be a slight risk of hepatitis or other nasty infections - so take your choice and risk as you will. You may find it's appealing to use your tongue, you may not - but without prejudging the issue, what's certainly true is that it can be highly erotic and exciting for some people to have a warm wet tongue probing this most intimate area of their body. Other issues with anal sex Unless you're playing out some masochistic game, pain is not part of the agenda. And anal sex can be painful without enough lube for the person on the receiving end! Never in any sex act is more consideration required for your partner than in anal sex. If she is in discomfort at any time, use more lube or stop - and that's especially true if she's so nervous that she just can't open up enough for you to get in. Time and patience and a gentle finger - or two - may be the answer or they may not. But if you can't penetrate easily, don't force the issue - either psychologically or physically! Sometimes during anal intercourse the receiving partner may have a reflex response which feels like they need to shit. If so, you may find that stopping for a moment or two makes the urge go away - or, if it does develop into a full blown need to shit, then that's probably the end of your anal play for the time being! Since the lining of the rectum is much more delicate than that of the vagina, and tears much more easily, you may want to ensure you trim all your fingernails before you go poking around inside your partner, and you may want to ensure all vibrators and dildoes are soft and flexible before you put them into your partner - or even yourself! For men: There are two rings of muscle around the anal canal, one at the outside, and one on the inside. The first one will open easily, but the second may clamp shut if your partner is frightened or apprehensive or you go too fast. That's its job - to prevent things getting into the body, including, sadly for you, your penis. The way to overcome this is to press forward slowly with plenty of lube (don't forget, you've already gone in with a finger or two, so it knows what's coming - and so does your partner!). At some point, if your partner is basically accepting of the idea of being penetrated anally, the inner muscles will relax and allow your penis to enter her body. If they don't, make sure you're not causing her any pain, and stop if she wants you to do so. By the way, the best way to get in is to watch what you're doing - it's not like the vagina, where you may be able to penetrate without looking. Her anus doesn't have labia to guide your penis in, and the opening is not as big as that of the vulval channel into the vagina. You need to look! And you need to apply a steady pressure as you seek to get your penis into her. Gentle but firm is the watchword here. You can push forward, then pull backwards a bit, then next time go a bit further forward. Obviously such a movement will be easier in some positions than others - like the rear entry with her kneeling on the bed and you standing behind her, for example. Once she is experienced and confident, and can relax to allow you in at will (see the pictures which show you how an anus can relax when it's partner is confident about anal sex), then you might want to shift position to woman on top. How hard can I thrust? Well, as hard as your partner lets you! Move slowly and lovingly, thrusting gently until she is used to and accepting of the rhythm of your penile thrusting. You may find it enough to move slowly and gently with restricted thrusts, or you may want to go at it full pelt - in either case, make sure your partner is both willing and able to accept your thrusts - it's a special and delicate part of her body, and she deserves your care and respect (not to mention your thanks) for giving you the opportunity to enjoy such a tight fit of her body around your penis. We know it feels good to have a tight penetration - we're men. Remember it may not feel as good for her as it does for you! Women: If you can relax and enjoy the thrusting, fine. But if it hurts and you want your partner to withdraw, tell him to stop! There's no reason why you should have to accept this form of sex if you don't like it. Anal intercourse sex positions As far as positions are concerned, try the rear entry first: you might also like woman on top, where you slip his penis into your anus - though you may need to be relaxed and fairly experienced to get it in in this position. getting the angle right is probably slightly more tricky than in vaginal sex, because the anal canal is tighter and the rectum bends just inside the body. If you're both relaxed and in the mood for a little experimentation, then you can shift around between bouts of thrusting until you find the position that is most comfortable for sex. The pictures (click here) may help you. As you can see, the positions are not that different to normal vaginal sex: they just need slight modification, such as her legs being farther apart. Other points You may find a bit of blood - small rips and cuts are common consequences of anal intercourse. Stop until they heal, and next time use more lube, and relax more as you play with the positions. If the condom breaks, get a new one, put it on, and start again. If you're going on to orgasm, and ejaculate inside your partner, make sure the condom is intact before you come. Anal intercourse - the real reverse cowgirl position! It's just possible that you might want to shift position entirely and have a session of anal sex where the woman penetrates the man. There are several reasons why this can be good for the uninhibited couple. First - she gets to experience the ultimate role reversal - penetration of her partner, though admittedly only with her finger or a strap-on dildo. But she can get some sense of what it's like to be the dominant partner who penetrates during sex. Second, he gets his prostate massaged by her finger or the dildo, and if she simultaneously masturbates him, he may find that he comes in a tremendous orgasm. Certainly, massaging his prostate (easiest in the rear entry position where the man kneels with his ass in the air, opening his cheeks so she can penetrate him form behind) will increase the volume of semen he produces, make his ejaculation shoot further, and give him greater orgasmic pleasure. If she has a strap on dildo up his anus at the time he comes, it's certainly going to be a new experience for him! Sex Techniques and Positions

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How To Improve Your Sex Life
This situation requires emergency action! These easy steps can help you reclaim your man: Stop panicking! Sounds like your man is going through a mid-relationship crisis. Remember 5 gay years equals about 25. He's probably freaking out because he's realizing that you may be the one and wants to make sure your candy is the tastiest in the store. No worries though, this is an easy fix. Stop talking to him about it. It's time for action! Go to your local sex shop (if there isn't one close by, search for one on the net). You say he talks raunchy stuff to these guys? Time for some raunchy role-play. Buy a few extremely freaky items from the kinky store. Think outside of your comfort level (i.e. swings, penis rings, flavored lubricants, maybe even chaps). Plan a surprise romantic night. Prepare dinner by candlelight, but this time the menu should consist of chocolates, strawberries, honey or even whipped cream. Instead of sitting at the table in your normal gear, wear some of the new sexy clothing you got from the sex shop. Sit him down and ask him not to move, this is your show! Feed him the goodies. Eat the whip cream off his chest or any other creative spot. Work him into a frenzy and then move the party to the floor or even the table top (Don't worry, you can clean it later!). Take control and give him the wildest night of his life. Try a little role play. It's embarrassing at first, but make up a scenario (you're his sex-crazed waiter, a kinky sex-god or another character that finds him irresistible). Ravish him and don't hold back. Whisper softly in his ear that you are his man and it's your job to fulfill his every fantasy. Be sure NOT to bring up any of the online chat guys! Just be creative. It sounds like he's looking for a little spark in your love life. But of course he's a man and doesn't know how to communicate that. Don't blame him, blame the human genome. Unfortunately, you will have to read his mind and see what actions excite him the most. If the taste fest goes well, spontaneously plan other exciting sexual events. Let him know you want to be with him and only him. Try some private outdoor action or interrupt his shower with a cleaning session of your own. In other words, keep it exciting and spontaneous. Your mission from this point on (if you choose to accept it) is to outdo and outperform any potential trick he may find on the net. If your man wants raunch, give it to him. Then, after the spark has been reunited, let him know it's your turn to check into the fantasy hotel! About News

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Our Sex Life Is Dull
Q. After 18 years of marriage, my wife told me our sex life is dull. Now I'm afraid to initiate sex for fear she'll get bored. What can we do to make things more than routine and for me to gain back my confidence? A. After 18 years of marriage, sex can get dull. In fact if a couple doesn't work at it, all of marriage can sink into a sameness that saps the excitement out of everything. That's why so many couples split up when the children leave home. The good news is that it doesn't have to be that way. The secret lies not in avoidance born of fear, but in accepting the challenge and finding ways to woo and win back your wife—and not just in bed. We could give you a formula, but our formula probably wouldn't work for you. Melissa can give you a list of things that light her fire, but you're not married to her. (Louis is the only one who gets that list!) And your wife has her own list. That's the one you need. Here are some ideas about discovering what those things are: Since most women are more interested in relationship than physical sex, your best avenue to make things exciting again is to work on the relationship. She needs to hear you talk about your feelings, memories of great times with her, your thoughts and opinions. There's a delicate balance of maleness that's exciting to women: strength combined with tenderness. The tenderness she wants is on an emotional level. Try talking about the feelings you just described to us. Let her in on your fears and longings, and listen well when she talks about her fears and longings. This will increase your closeness, which will naturally lead to more physical affection and perhaps sex. But don't make sexual intercourse your goal. Instead have "oneness" as the destination. Your fear will dissipate as you express it verbally. Then you won't have to struggle with it and can focus on your wife and her needs. Otherwise, she'll sense intuitively that you're afraid—which isn't attractive to most women. But another tip? Just flat out ask her what you can do to make things more exciting in the bedroom. We bet she'd love to be able to tell you. I Want It More Q. My husband has a lower sex drive than I do. He's fine with once a week; I'd be fine with every other day. Our involvement at church and our careers keep us busy, but not stressed. He refuses to visit a physician to see if there's a physical problem. He wants to have children in the future, which I'm open to, but from everything I've read, couples have sex less often after children arrive—and I'm unsatisfied with the frequency as it is now! Help! A. Our first question is about how your sexual "dance" looks. How does your husband respond to your expression of desire and frustration? Who initiates sexual foreplay? Is your sexual interaction mutually satisfying when it does occur? The answers to these aspects of the "dance" may provide useful insights into why your husband doesn't seem motivated. Also, have you had open, honest talks about your sexual desires? If not, give that a try. Since you connected the problems of frequency to having children, my second question is, How does your husband feel about the possibility of you becoming pregnant sooner rather than later? Sometimes when men feel a bit fearful about parenthood, they try to minimize their risk of fatherhood by limiting the possibility of impregnation. If that's what your husband is thinking, reassure him that today's forms of birth control are extremely effective. And if he's still nervous about it, lay off for those few days in your cycle when you're most fertile. You also asked about the possibility of a physical problem. It's possible he has a low testosterone level, which could be determined with a simple blood test. He can probably schedule that without a physician's examination. Then, based on the results, he'd find whether he needed any treatment or follow-up. Perhaps you could suggest he at least take that step. Finally, you may want to reconsider your assumption that frequency of sex will decrease after children come along. That isn't necessarily so. We've known many couples who've increased their frequency after children come along. You may find the same thing happens in your marriage! Hygiene Dilemma Q. My husband isn't interested in hygiene—and it's a huge turnoff to me, to the point where I don't want to have sex with him. I've tried to say things such as, "Honey, where's that good smelling cologne I bought for you?" Is there something I can do? A. Good try with the cologne! That sort of gentle hint works with some guys. Then there are others who are olfactory challenged and don't have a clue. Smells as though you got one of those. There are two approaches you might try. The first may appeal to his machismo, but requires the right equipment. If you have a big enough and non-slip shower—invite him to play around with you there. Tell him the idea of showering together really lathers you up. Then you can lather him up with some good smelling gel. It might work. The second is more direct but may be better in the long run. Make a date with him to talk then use a non-threatening "preamble" to set the stage. You could say, "Darling (or "Dimples" or "Brute"), I have a problem I can't seem to solve and I really need your help." That usually appeals to a man's need to be a fixer of things not working. Then tell him you have an overdeveloped sense of smell and that the doctor (McBurney) said that's directly connected to your sexual response center. The doctor pointed out that different smells are a definite turn-on or turn-off for many women and you're one of those. The problem is that your highly sensitive system makes you vulnerable to such things as … (fill in the blanks). One of those is male body odor. So it's hard for you to become sexually stimulated when you're exposed to that and even though you really want to make love, your hypothalamus shuts you down. Take It All Off! Q. My husband asks me repeatedly to strip for him. I understand men are visual creatures, and that by my doing this he'd have a pleasing experience. While I'd love to do this for him, I feel self-conscious. I'm not the thinnest woman. How do I get over this negative self-image so I can please my husband? And anyway, is stripping even a healthy sexual suggestion? A. Stripping is definitely a healthy sexual suggestion! And believe us when we tell you your weight isn't going to make the experience different for your husband. Love is blind and lust is at least myopic. It's wonderful that your husband has a touch of both. If you're still self-conscious about your weight, ask your physician if you should lose a few pounds. But this is more than just a weight issue. We encourage you to try to remove your fear of your sensuality. God gave you all the right equipment to be a Song of Solomon woman. Read that book in The Message (a paraphrase of the Bible). While the descriptions in that translation sound a little more seductive, the meaning stays the same. A lover is a delight to the eyes of her beloved and he's eager to feast on her loveliness. Also try to take off your inhibitions and embarrassment. Learn to undress one bit of clothing at a time with some stimulating music playing in the background. Practice alone until you're less self-conscious, then turn the lights low, light some candles, and surprise his socks off. Vaginal Orgasms? Q. Can a woman have a vaginal orgasm, and is there such a thing as a "G spot"? My husband, who was married before, says his former wife always had a vaginal climax during intercourse and he thinks there must be something wrong with me because I've never had one. Am I doing something wrong? A. The human sexual response is individualized and there's no superior or inferior way of achieving satisfaction. More important than identifying a "vaginal" or "clitoral" orgasm or specific "G spot" response is to experience sex as a way of expressing mutuality in bringing pleasure to your mate. Orgasm is the culmination of sexual arousal and can occur with any erotic stimulation. From kissing to breast caressing to clitoral or vaginal stimulation, you can experience an orgasm. The more romantic the setting, intimate the relationship, and exciting the lovemaking the more intense that orgasm may be. One prominent aspect of a woman's orgasm is the rhythmic contraction of the vaginal wall. So in a sense, every orgasm is a "vaginal" orgasm, even when the primary stimulation is in some other erogenous area. It's also possible for a woman to experience orgasm when the vagina is the primary stimulus. Because of its location just above the entrance to the vagina, the clitoris usually receives some of the effects of pelvic thrusting and penile penetration. There's also anatomic evidence of a "G spot," which is more of an area than a spot. This is located in the anterior, or front, wall of the vagina and has a richer network of sensory nerve endings. The thing to keep in mind, though, is that when sex becomes a performance that establishes anyone's adequacy, the whole meaning of intimacy is diminished. So we'd recommend you both relax, put away the score cards, and enjoy your love for each other! Christianity Today

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Sex - where do we start?
If you see a relationship as a dance between two partners where each partner is listening to a different tune and rhythm, and dancing according to a different set of steps, then good sex might be seen as trying to do the same while riding an elemental thunderstorm and expecting to have a great time! Sex can be wonderful, but having wonderful sex can be hard work and difficult. People often expect something as instinctual as sex just to "happen naturally" in a fulfilling way, but we aren't just rabbits. We are human beings, and as such we carry our good and bad memories of relationships and sex, our ability (or lack of ability) to trust and let go, our current stresses about work, the kids and the world as a whole, our issues in the relationship with the person we're having sex with, and so on, into our sexual encounters. The list of influences which interfere with our ability to have natural, fulfilling sex is long and complicated. Don't be naive and just expect sex to be earth shattering and fully satisfying without working at it. It isn't like that. Sex is a great thing. When it works it has the capacity to relax us, to let us meet another person truly and deeply, and to lift us out of our isolation into a spiritual, ecstatic, passionate level beyond normal living. Sex can be fun, a great thing to be shared and enjoyed. It strengthens and deepens our relationships and endows some relationships with exclusiveness and a special kind of bond. Sex also satisfies our inbuilt need for contact, closeness and the release of our sexual energies. And sex can be powerful, passionate, steamy and consuming. Unfortunately, sex has also been repressed, marginalized, condemned and abused for a long time. And whatever your sexual orientation, gender issues will influence how you see yourself and your partner as sexual beings. Power and sex don't go together very well, but they are inextricably linked through gender politics, history and culture. All these historical leftovers mean that most people start on their sexual journey with too little information, and possibly also with rather bad experiences in tow. Additionally, as a society we still don't talk about sex with each other, with our partners, our children, or our friends. Sex is often either romanticized and devoid of all passion or it is passionate and hot but disconnected from relationships. This can result in objectification of the other person. I would like to invite you to take stock of your sex life first, and what you want it to be like. Then you or you and your partner can decide what you want to work on to improve your sex life and the sexual aspects of your relationships. To take stock, click here: Your sex life: taking stock To do some daydreaming, click here: Sex - and how it could be! Or you could navigate through our website using the following main headings: 1 Sex: the facts 2 Good sex: what to expect 3 Problems, problems, problems 4 Sex and relationships: why does it get so difficult for you? Before I finish this introduction let me say one more thing on the power and passion of sex. Sex is an incredibly strong force. It is much older than we are as a species. It connects us again with elemental forces in our lives which we may quite like to forget. Sex breaks down our personal defenses and personality structure, even if only for a brief period, but in doing so it can be greatly disturbing and powerful. Sex loses its core energy if we tame it or try and contain it. It becomes dead and boring. Sex is therefore often a force which is opposite to our tendencies for security and stability in relationships: in fact, sex and stability co-exist in a strange balance. And sex is somewhat like a living being which needs continuous attention, love and energy. If you think you have finally arrived at a stable and good sex life, think again! A stable and repetitive sex life will rapidly lead to the death of your desire and terminal boredom. The other side of this is that sex is a powerful force towards personal growth. It propels us from childhood into adulthood and lets us leave the (hopefully) safe environment of our families of origin behind. It demands that we strike out into the world, taking risks and finding a mate. Working on your sexual development both individually and in a relationship is a great way to increase your sense of connectedness and your energy and passion for life. I urge you not to close down this area of your life and soul (nor to let it stay closed): to do so would mean leaving a lot of yourself behind on your journey through life. Sex and Relationships

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Five Hot Spots to Reach Simultaneous Orgasm
Simultaneous orgasm is what many couples dream to achieve, though many find it quite difficult due to different time required to men and women to reach the big O. It is possible for both partners to make the earth move at the same time if they both learn how to control your performance. Scrotum - Pull down Scrotum is not only sensitive area but a good indicator of a man's readiness to ejaculate. As much as 75 percent of men ejaculate in two minutes after the beginning of the intercourse. Early ejaculation is the first obstacle for you to achieve simultaneous orgasm. One of the early signs of forthcoming ejaculation is when man's scrotum gets closer to he shaft of the penis. The little trick here is to pull down the scrotum a little bit to delay the ejaculation. Perineum - Press Another spot that has a potential to delay the orgasm for a man is perineum located between the anus and scrotum. This helps to retain ejaculate and helps to prolong pleasure. Though be careful while pressing against the spot and not do it too long as it may be harmful for your health. PC muscles - Squeeze If none of these tricks work for you, you may need to do some exercises, like PC muscles squeezing. PC (pubo-coccyqeus) muscles can be felt when you try to stop urination. Squeezing PC muscles at least 25 times per day learns you to control ejaculation leading to more intense orgasm. For women PC muscles exercising not only strengthen her vaginal muscles but also intensifies her sensations. You can squeeze PC muscles using your own fingers, sex toys or around man's penis. Clitoris - Touch Do not rush to perform the intercourse and linger on a foreplay with your woman. For many women clitoris is more sensitive than vagina thus paying enough attention to her love bud with the help of oral sex or your hands will speed up her arousal. This will make sure you both can melt in orgasmic bliss simultaneously. You can also try to stimulate her clitoris during the intercourse or ask her to feel free to do it herself. G-spot - Explore When the G-spot was discovered, the vaginal orgasm became easier to achieve for lots of women. G-spot that is located on the front wall of vagina about two inches deep inside. This is a very sensitive spot that triggers a strong orgasm in women. Men also have so called P-spot -male equivalent of the female G-spot that can be found in the anus somewhere between the anus and testicles. It is full of nerve endings contributing to higher arousal. Real Sex Tips

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Sex Was My Last Priority
When I was first married, I strived for sterility. I wanted a clean house with washed laundry—and as much ordered chaos as possible in a family busy with three boys. This sterility seeped into my sexual relationship with my husband. My motto was, "We can make love—if the kids are asleep, the house is clean, and we're both freshly showered and in bed in a tidy room, with the lights down low and candles lit. Oh, and did you get your hair cut recently?" The problem was that the chance was slim to none that all these conditions existed at the same time! Even if we were able to accomplish everything on my "must do before sex" list, we were much more likely to drop wearily on the couch instead of passionately into each other's arms. Something had to give. I couldn't keep up with all my requirements and have the energy for intimacy. I needed to simplify. Then a thought occurred to me: What would Chuck think if I suddenly let go and pursued lovemaking when things weren't perfect, when the dishes were left on the table? This wasn't going to be easy. I needed a role model. I chose Eve. I know, Eve ate the apple. But before that unfortunate moment, she stood in the garden, God's choice for Adam's partner. More than any other creature, she was pleasing to him in every way. I wondered what she had that I didn't. Then realized it was the other way around. Eve didn't have a house to keep squeaky clean. Or a shopping list or one too many tasks to perform. She lived with Adam in beauty among the animals, with pungent odors and earthy surroundings that offered trees for shelter and a bed of grass for comfort. There they found the beauty they needed in each other, setting the stage for them to enjoy God's gift of intimacy. Was it possible I could expect less and get more? Less housework, more physical touch? Less tasking, more romance? What woman in her right mind would choose otherwise? But as an exhausted mother with young children, I wasn't in my right mind, so I needed to practice. I started small. My initial thought, What if I let the dishes go until morning so we could get to bed earlier? was quickly followed by, But having a clean kitchen always makes me feel so much better. Finally, my "right mind" kicked in. Really? A clean kitchen would make me feel better than if I spent the next hour with my husband, connecting in a God-given way designed to draw us together? Sorry, Jan, no kitchen can ever be clean enough to surpass that! Then I took it a step further. I placed toys strategically on the floor, directly in my normal walking path. I left them there, walking over or around them until having a messy floor didn't bother me—or at least not as much. This really confused Chuck when he reached down to help clean and heard me say, "Oh no, honey. Leave the toys on the floor." The best part came when I read in Song of Songs about the Lover and the Beloved stealing away to a beautiful garden. The Lover describes his Beloved as precious myrrh, and she portrays him as a delightful spice. Not once does he say, "Your kitchen sparkles like the stars of heaven and is scented with the aroma of a thousand pines." It was all about the beauty and desire they found in each other. Reading that book made me realize that I rarely expressed my attraction for Chuck's body. One day, quoting Song of Songs 5:15, I blurted: "Your legs are like pillars of marble, baby!" He was pleasantly shocked and a little red from blushing. To this day I often tell Chuck how attractive he is, specifically admiring the bright color of his eyes, the strength of his legs, or the handsome turn of his smile. Now, when I start a sentence with "Honey," he gives me his full attention. There's a much better chance that a compliment will follow—instead of just one more "honey-do" for the list. We've been married 23 years, and I've continued pursuing moments in the garden. Sometimes it's a simple, "I'm naked under these clothes," which is always true, but feels intriguing when said out loud. Other times it's something special on his pillow (even if the bed is unmade) or clothing that's slightly more feminine than what I usually wear. It's important that I take him as he is, without requirements. No shower, cologne, flowers, or candles. Just him and his "out of Africa" manliness. His brute, organic, and earthy being—just as God created him: "radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand" (Song of Songs 5:10). There will always be pressures that sap my energy and time limits. But I've learned to embrace what is earthy and put housework on hold for a while. Like right now. I've got a kitchen to ignore. Jan Fallon

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